Editor’s Note: This post contains generalizations that may not apply to all paisas.
Since I’ve been in Medellín, I have not failed to notice the hoards of attractive women who in my opinion, far outweigh the attractive men.
I have also not failed to notice the amount of international men (or gringos) who come here looking for attractive women and have read the numerous articles on how to date a paisa woman.
But…what about the Colombian men?
With so much attention focused on the gorgeous (and yes I am a bit jealous) paisa women, I think it’s only fair to talk about the men, and after three months of living in Medellín complaining about the lack of good-looking men, something very strange has happened.
I am starting to see Colombian men in a completely different light. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t been out of the country in a while, but they are suddenly looking very appealing.
So if you’re looking for a date in Medellín, first thing’s first; forget dating an expat. Most are only here for the paisa women, and anyone who tells you they aren’t, is probably lying.
If you want to be wined and dined and enjoy dating in Medellín, I definitely recommend dating a Colombian man (and I am speaking from personal experience).
So how do you get yourself a date with one of these latinos? After all they’re everywhere, and although the trend tends to be an older Colombian man with a younger Colombian woman, some are open to the idea of wooing a gringa.
The way to catch one – is to be different from a paisa chica.
Sounds easy? You look like an expat, and are an international woman but inside you’re actually a woman of mystery and one which they are really not used to.
First, you pay your own way. Paisa women tend to leave their purses at home and expect the man to pay for everything, which he generally does.
Second, you work to a fixed time schedule and 7pm to you means you arrive at 7pm. You don’t start getting ready at 7 o’clock and turn up at 8 or even 9pm.
According to some gringos whom I’ve spoken to currently dating paisa women, they don’t even turn up at all, and they have to arrange three dates for the probability of them turning up to at least one.
When we have a date, we turn up (most of the time anyway). Plus, coming from the western world, if a man turns up late, you won’t stand for it and be ready to move on to the next.
Third, you’re not into cosmetic surgery. This is not saying that every paisa is, and although we appreciate the finer things in life, they are not everything to us.
Looking good is important, but not everything, and we tend to value a more emotional connection over being bought nice clothes or being treated to nice meals.
What to Expect Dating a Colombian Man
Chivalry is not dead in Colombia and you can expect your Colombian man to open the door for you to walk through, pull out your chair at a restaurant and tell you how beautiful you look at the beginning of your date whilst holding your hand across the table throughout the evening.
Expect a great evening, and one full of dancing (although the one I am dating protests he cannot dance). Paisa men can dance, so prepare to be led across the dance floor as he shows you his sexy moves.
He will have a weekly routine, whether it’s working out, seeing his friends or other interests that you need to slot into.
Expect to be treated like a princess with so much affection and compliments that you’ll be totally flattered and wooed off your feet.
What Not to Expect
Having a choice over where you go for dinner, which for some of us coming from a country of equal rights can feel a bit frustrating. Saying that though, it is a refreshing change after being an independent woman to have someone make all the decisions for you (for a short while anyway).
Don’t expect your plans to fixed either as he may change them at the last-minute as he just “doesn’t feel” like doing what you had originally planned together.
Because you’re not a paisa chica, don’t expect him to pay for your meal. Coming from an equal-rights country, he may expect you to pay for your share (mine definitely does).
Don’t expect anything long-term, or start planning your future with them, as legally you can only stay in the country for six months a year if you’re on a tourist visa.
Don’t expect that you are their only girl. This obviously does not apply to all Colombian men, but I do know of girls who have dated men for months to then find out that they have another girlfriend, a wife or even children which they did not know about!
But this does work both ways and although it’s a common thought that paisas aren’t one woman men and are serial daters, in actual fact, the women are also doing the same.
If you want a one-woman man, play hard to get and don’t expect your Colombian man to have the same relationship values you have. Colombia is a macho society after all.
So date a Colombia man, enjoy the ride and worst case scenario if it all goes wrong, walk away knowing that you’ve been able to improve your Spanish (between the sheets anyway), eat out at some swanky restaurants and be completely wooed by a latino – definitely one for the bucket list.